playing around
I’ve been playing around with photoshop recently. Here are few things I did.
getting pumped
yes december feels like a long time from now. but today it was watching a promo video for urbana and got really pumped. i’m really looking forward to this conference this year. i really think God will speak. anyway, wanted to share this video with you and wanted to remind all of you that anyone can go! let me know if you want more info!
good friday
I began this personal tradition a couple of years ago.
On good friday I would spend the night alone and reflect on what happened during this day years ago. I do this by watching the Passion of the Christ so that I can have a visual of what Jesus’ death really meant. Watching this film is always difficult for me and its one that I can only handle once a year. To be faced with the reality of what our, and more personally MY, sin did to Jesus is a lot to take in. I know that I sin daily, but somehow in my asking for forgiveness I become immune to what I’m actually asking God for. Watching Jesus suffer in this film brings that reality back for me.
Each time I watch it something will hit me in a new way. This year one scene in particular moved me. Its about three quarters through the film and Jesus is carrying the cross through the streets on his way to his cruxification point. Out of pure exhaustion he falls to the ground. At this same moment Jesus’ mother Mary appears along the route and she runs to her son’s aide. As Jesus falls to the ground, Mary flashes back to a moment in Jesus’ childhood. Jesus is a young boy and is running around as many young boys do. Unfortnately Jesus trips and falls and Mary as she sees this happen runs to his aide. At that moment in Jesus’ life Mary is able to comfort Him and make things better. As the movie then flashes back to this current scene we find Mary and Jesus on the ground again. This time however, Jesus looks into the eyes of Mary and says, “Mother, I will make all things new.” And with a body severely beaten Jesus finds the strength to rise up on His own. Mary can no longer make things better for Jesus like she could years ago. But now Jesus through his ultimate suffering has the power to not only make this better, but to make ALL things new!
I would say that there have been few moments in my following of Jesus that I have truly grasped the symbolism and importance of Jesus’ ability to make all things new. But tonight for a brief moment I found a peace like I haven’t in a long while that Jesus really will and is making all things new. Tonight I believed without a doubt that this is happening. I wish I could say my faith is deep enough that I never doubted Jesus ability to make all things new – because I would be lieing if I said that. But tonight I am thankful that I got to grasp that and genuinely believe it in a deeper way than I have for awhile.
Happy Good Friday Everyone
Its an Urbana Year!
I realize that my now past three posts will all be videos of some sort (a bit unorginal I know) but I couldn’t resist posting just one more. Urbana is InterVarsity’s HUGE mission conference that is put on every 3 years. Its an amazing experience as over 25,000 people gather for the 5 day event. Getting the chance to worship with people from all over the world always make me feel like I get a momentary experience of what heaven will be like. I tear up everytime 
Well 2009 is an Urbana year and we are already getting the word out for the December event. I will for sure be posting more information in the upcoming months but for now here is video to let you know a little bit more about the event!
Worst Ever Version of “O Holy Night”
I found myself getting in the Christmas spirit already and then I remembered one of my favorite worst ever versions of a Christmas song. And this is just too good to keep to myself so enjoy!
What did Jesus live for?
So often in our faith we talk about what Jesus died for, but this weekend I heard the question asked, “What did Jesus live for?” and it really got me thinking.
This past weekend I attended our annual Fall Conference for InterVarsity, and our speaker spoke about the Kingdom coming to Earth. He pointed out that if Jesus was just about dieing for our sins that He could have done it much faster than He did. He could have come down to earth in one day die for our sins and be resurrected. Bam it could be done so quickly. But that is not what Jesus chose to do, He chose to come and live with us for 30+ years and what for? What did Jesus live for?
So that is the question I am sifting through these days. What can I learn from the life that Jesus lived? When Jesus walked on this Earth He brought a piece of heaven with Him everywhere He went. He brought healing, hope, and life to people He interacted with. And He did it by loving people well. I want to love people well and bring life in the way that God brought life. How that will happen is beyond me, but God please help me!
(if you want to see other ways that God spoke to us this weekend end click the link at the top of the page for International Student Ministry!)
consumerism overload
maybe its the constant coverage of the economy in crisis, maybe its the stories of greedy ceo billionaires that have driven their companies into bankruptcy, maybe its my conflicting feels of both wanting the latest apple product and being disgusted with myself for wanting the latest apple product, or maybe it was the 5 hours i spent at jordan creek mall today – whatever the reason i have never felt so overwhelmed by american consumerism. (well, i take that back, i do remember being that overwhelmed when i returned from overseas- but that was due to a number of factors mostly including reverse culture shock).
maybe my perceiving sensors were turned on high today but it felt like everywhere i turned there was some persuasive words luring me into buying something. honestly it didn’t matter what is was, an overpriced gourmet dog treat (why these exist i’m not sure), a 20% off coupon here, the words “sale” huge in a front store window there – it didn’t matter everywhere i turned i was expected to buy. in fact it made me feel out of place as i walked through the mall to not have some sort of plastic bag in my hand that marked my buying capacity. and for awhile i did feel bad for not buying something. i felt less worthy, honestly, like i was missing out for not purchasing something.
on my drive home i could almost feel a physical relief as i moved further away. when i arrived at my quaint little apartment i felt more grateful for the few things i do have. its so easy to be tempted to believe that my life will be fuller if i have more things. so easy for me to believe that. i’m trying to see that its when my life is actually full of less tangible stuff and more of the intangibles that i can experience a fuller life. oh how tempted i am to think the other way.
Forcing Vs. Releasing
I’ve had these two words in my head for the past week or so. There is a real difference between the two and I’m beginning to understand that I often disguise my “releasing”. I am generally a go getter when it comes to my life. Not an obnoxious go getter than won’t take no for an answer, but a go getter none the less. I dont like to sit around and wait for things to happen I want to go after them. This in itself is not a bad thing; things wont happen if you don’t do something. However there is a real difference in forcing something to happen and releasing so that something will happen.
Maybe I can clarify this more. When I force things to happen I am in the one in control, I am the one in charge. In most cases I can predict and make the outcome be what I want. When I force things to happen in the way I want them to I get the status, I get the praise, I get what I want. Seeing a pattern here? Lots of this is about me. Releasing however is all about relinquishing control of the outcome. Its all about letting what happens happens. Its about letting the situation/person/idea go where it may because you are not the one dictating what happens. (Even in the words I use to describe releasing I feel a sense of freedom while when I write about forcing I feel a sense of guilt.)
I’m beginning to realize more clearly how much I want to use force when it comes to leading a ministry. If I can just put the right people with the right direction in the right places at the right time – then bam a booming ministry should happen and all will be well! But it doesn’t work like that and in all honesty that sure does make it a lot more about me than it does about Jesus. In that realm I control the outcome, I get the glory, I get what I want. The sad thing is – this is not what I believe Jesus is all about – in fact He’s no where close to that frame of thinking. He does not dictate the situation so HE is in control. He does not dictate or control the response He simply lays it all out there and lets it happen.
I know I have a far ways to go but I hope that as this year goes on and this new ministry goes on I can be a lot more about laying it all out there and just letting things happen instead of thinking I have to force things to happen. OH so much to learn. Lord guide me.
If I was a Tv Star . . .
I found this website tonight and found it pretty hysterical. I thought I would share with you what I would look like if I was cast in some tv shows through the years . . .
FACTS OF LIFE - Natalie perhaps?
FULL HOUSE – move over DJ
Growing Pains – I think I could play the Mom
BRADY BUNCH - Alice the housekeeper
DIRTY DANCING – Nobody puts Baby in a Corner
